


Captain Kitty Hawk to the Rescue! (Or The Case of the Ginger Lucy)

by LadyMyfanwy



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28563252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMyfanwy/pseuds/LadyMyfanwy
Summary: This is my Christmas gift for the wonderful Awatere11. The characters are her creations, part of her Walter Universe. Captain Kitty Hawk is the Superhero of the Village and he's come to the rescue!
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter One

Captain Kitty Hawk to the Rescue! (Or The Case of the Ginger Lucy)

Chapter One

The house phone began to ring and Ianto set down his book. “I’ll get it…” He headed into the kitchen and as he plucked the receiver from the wall he checked the water level in the kettle, topped it off and flipped the switch.

“Hello? Ianto speaking…” He reached into the cupboard and brought down the biscuit tin. “Ahh… yes, I see…” His voice assumed a deeper, more serious tone. “Please hold the line, Madam…” Ianto gently laid the receiver on the counter and stuck his head into the living room. “Ah-hemmmm…”

Jack and Hawk looked up, a perfect pair with matching looks and quirked eyebrows. “Yeeessss?” They spoke in unison, a creepy little habit they’d developed.

Barely able to keep his eyes from rolling in his head, however fondly, Ianto maintained his deep voice and added a English accent worthy of any proper butler. “I believe there is a telephone call for Master CKH, Sirs.”

Hawk leapt up, his feet barely even touching the floor as he dashed into the kitchen and snatched up the phone. “Yes, Citizen, this is Captain Kitty Hawk, how may I assist you this fine day?” Babs had been teaching him how to sound posh and serious, as befitted his Superhero status.

Ianto slid into the kitchen and turned the kettle off, rinsed the teapot and added a measure of tea then filled the pot and set it aside it to steep. He found his silver tray and set out a tea service, a cup and saucer for him, a blue-and-white-striped beaker for Jack and a matching smaller beaker with a lid for Hawk. Like Jack, Hawk tended to get a bit excited sometimes and just like his dad, he waved his arms around so putting a lid on his drinks had turned out to be a brilliant idea. 

He tried not to eavesdrop as he got the milk from the fridge and sloshed a bit into Jack’s mug and then filled Hawk’s more than halfway full, followed by a slight sprinkle of sugar in the first and a spoonful into the second, ready for afternoon tea to be added.

“Good afternoon, Good Biddy McGrath…” Hawk nodded with great seriousness. “And when did this occur…” He snapped his little fingers as best he could at Ianto, who quickly pushed the grocery list pad and a pencil over to his secret boss. “Late this morning you say?” Hawk tried to hold the big phone receiver under his chin like he’d seen Jack and Ianto do, but there just wasn’t enough room and every time he tried to take notes, the phone would slip away. Taking pity on the wee man, Ianto took the paper and pencil and sat at the table, awaiting instructions.

“Thank you, Butler Taddy.” Hawk nodded. “Ginger kitty… oh, the marmalade and cream ginger with the circles on her sides, not the one with the dark stripes.” He waved at Ianto, waiting til he’d written down the appropriate information. “And where did you last see Miss Lucy? In the flower bed you say…” He nodded approvingly. “Ah, yes… that’s where I’d be if I were a kitty in the garden… it’s a lovely day for taking the sun.” Hawk watched Ianto make a note. 

“Now, my dear biddy woman, I must ask…” Hawk paused, clutched the phone to his chest and looked around furtively, glancing over his shoulder first in one direction, then in the opposite and then just for good measure, he bent down and peeked under that table. Satisfied that it was all clear, he asked very solemnly, “tell me, Citizen, have you seen any spurnicious character type people skulicking about your gardens recently?” He listened for a moment, nodding and making little humming noises. “So no odd looking anything lurkeling in the shadows?” 

He sound disappointed and Ianto saw his little shoulders sag a bit and he felt sorry for his wee Superhero, but then he saw the Harkness-Jones backbone kick in when Hawk squared his shoulders. 

“Good. They must have heard of my explanoits and are staying away. I am very pleased I shall not have to do battle with villainy types today!”

There was a quiet snort from the doorway and Ianto glanced over to find Jack standing there doing his darnedest not to laugh, although his eyes were filled with mirth. Ianto glared at him in warning and shook his head and then he turned back to Hawk, who’d just tapped him on the arm.

“Yes, Sir?” Ianto had his pencil at the ready, ready to jot down vital information.

“No spurnicious types seen, but Biddy McGrath does reports she took a quick trip to the market this morning…” Hawk reported, cupping the phone in his hand. “Milk, eggs, oranges, a loaf of… Butler Taddy, you’re not writing this down… it could be important,” he scolded, pointing at the paper. 

“So sorry, Sir!” Ianto quickly wrote down the shopping. “Won’t happen again, Sir.”

Hawk nodded and said graciously, “See that it doesn’t, my good man.” He returned to his call. “Now, what was Miss Lucy last seen wearing?” He’d heard that question asked during one of Jack’s police shows on TV. “Ahh… I see…” Hawk stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Just her fur…”

He glanced over to see Ianto writing furiously, not noticing that his Taddy’s shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.

“Do not worry, Citizen, I shall begin my interesting investigating immediately!” he announced dramatically as he flung his arm into the air. “I shall be with you straight away!”

Jack couldn’t take it any longer. He clapped his hand over his mouth and ran for the bedroom, where he flung himself onto the king-sized bed, buried his face in a pillow and howled with laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

Meanwhile back in the kitchen, Hawk handed the receiver to his taddy to hang up. “Butler Taddy, prepare the Meow Machine!”

Ianto stood and saluted sharply. “Yes, sir!”

“I shall be back!” Hawk shouted before he rushed away to his bedroom, pausing at the end of his bed to look around for anyone who might see where the entrance to his private hideout was located. Satisfied there were no intruders, he opened the nondescript used-to-be-an-ordinary-closet door and darted into his top-secret lair, activating the motion-sensitive lights. He knew exactly the outfit he needed to wear in order to find a lost kitty. 

Hawk quickly pulled on black leggings and a pair of soft leather shoes that looked suspiciously like ballet flats but which Babs had sworn were not, and a T-shirt that had a black cat’s face with enormous yellow-green eyes staring out… Hawk had liberated it from Bethy’s closet having declared those kitty eyes the perfect accessory to help him look for evil-doers. It was much too big but Hawk solved that problem by rolling up the sleeves and fastening his utility belt around his waist. 

Finally, he finished his outfit with an oversized straw sun hat which had a wide length of black lace sewn onto the back half courtesy of one of the wardrobe guys from Walter’s studio. It was long enough that it reached his butt and made the perfect lightweight summer cape. Last but not least, Hawk donned a pair of vintage cat’s-eye sunglasses, a wonderful addition to his wardrobe courtesy of Babs and eBay.

Pleased with his appearance, Hawk grabbed Fang from his favourite spot on the windowsill and tucked him under his arm before hurrying out to the driveway where Ianto waited patiently, having parked the black Meow Machine next to his own Taddy Truck. Within minutes both vehicles were travelling down the street to Biddy McGrath’s home and when they arrived, Captain Kitty Hawk leapt from his machine with a flourish.

“I have arrived!” he declared to the neighbourhood at large as he swept off his sunglasses. He turned to look at Fang. “Minion, I shall leave it up to you… would you like to come investigating with me or would you rather remain here, guarding the Meow Machine.” 

Fang just blinked slowly at him, then curled up in his basket and dozed off in the sunshine.

“Hmpf… Good choice, Minion.”  
Captain Kitty Hawk to the Rescue! (Or The Case of the Ginger Lucy)

The house phone began to ring and Ianto set down his book. “I’ll get it…” He headed into the kitchen and as he plucked the receiver from the wall he checked the water level in the kettle, topped it off and flipped the switch.

“Hello? Ianto speaking…” He reached into the cupboard and brought down the biscuit tin. “Ahh… yes, I see…” His voice assumed a deeper, more serious tone. “Please hold the line, Madam…” Ianto gently laid the receiver on the counter and stuck his head into the living room. “Ah-hemmmm…”

Jack and Hawk looked up, a perfect pair with matching looks and quirked eyebrows. “Yeeessss?” They spoke in unison, a creepy little habit they’d developed.

Barely able to keep his eyes from rolling in his head, however fondly, Ianto maintained his deep voice and added a English accent worthy of any proper butler. “I believe there is a telephone call for Master CKH, Sirs.”

Hawk leapt up, his feet barely even touching the floor as he dashed into the kitchen and snatched up the phone. “Yes, Citizen, this is Captain Kitty Hawk, how may I assist you this fine day?” Babs had been teaching him how to sound posh and serious, as befitted his Superhero status.

Ianto slid into the kitchen and turned the kettle off, rinsed the teapot and added a measure of tea then filled the pot and set it aside it to steep. He found his silver tray and set out a tea service, a cup and saucer for him, a blue-and-white-striped beaker for Jack and a matching smaller beaker with a lid for Hawk. Like Jack, Hawk tended to get a bit excited sometimes and just like his dad, he waved his arms around so putting a lid on his drinks had turned out to be a brilliant idea. 

He tried not to eavesdrop as he got the milk from the fridge and sloshed a bit into Jack’s mug and then filled Hawk’s more than halfway full, followed by a slight sprinkle of sugar in the first and a spoonful into the second, ready for afternoon tea to be added.

“Good afternoon, Good Biddy McGrath…” Hawk nodded with great seriousness. “And when did this occur…” He snapped his little fingers as best he could at Ianto, who quickly pushed the grocery list pad and a pencil over to his secret boss. “Late this morning you say?” Hawk tried to hold the big phone receiver under his chin like he’d seen Jack and Ianto do, but there just wasn’t enough room and every time he tried to take notes, the phone would slip away. Taking pity on the wee man, Ianto took the paper and pencil and sat at the table, awaiting instructions.

“Thank you, Butler Taddy.” Hawk nodded. “Ginger kitty… oh, the marmalade and cream ginger with the circles on her sides, not the one with the dark stripes.” He waved at Ianto, waiting til he’d written down the appropriate information. “And where did you last see Miss Lucy? In the flower bed you say…” He nodded approvingly. “Ah, yes… that’s where I’d be if I were a kitty in the garden… it’s a lovely day for taking the sun.” Hawk watched Ianto make a note. 

“Now, my dear biddy woman, I must ask…” Hawk paused, clutched the phone to his chest and looked around furtively, glancing over his shoulder first in one direction, then in the opposite and then just for good measure, he bent down and peeked under that table. Satisfied that it was all clear, he asked very solemnly, “tell me, Citizen, have you seen any spurnicious character type people skulicking about your gardens recently?” He listened for a moment, nodding and making little humming noises. “So no odd looking anything lurkeling in the shadows?” 

He sound disappointed and Ianto saw his little shoulders sag a bit and he felt sorry for his wee Superhero, but then he saw the Harkness-Jones backbone kick in when Hawk squared his shoulders. 

“Good. They must have heard of my explanoits and are staying away. I am very pleased I shall not have to do battle with villainy types today!”

There was a quiet snort from the doorway and Ianto glanced over to find Jack standing there doing his darnedest not to laugh, although his eyes were filled with mirth. Ianto glared at him in warning and shook his head and then he turned back to Hawk, who’d just tapped him on the arm.

“Yes, Sir?” Ianto had his pencil at the ready, ready to jot down vital information.

“No spurnicious types seen, but Biddy McGrath does reports she took a quick trip to the market this morning…” Hawk reported, cupping the phone in his hand. “Milk, eggs, oranges, a loaf of… Butler Taddy, you’re not writing this down… it could be important,” he scolded, pointing at the paper. 

“So sorry, Sir!” Ianto quickly wrote down the shopping. “Won’t happen again, Sir.”

Hawk nodded and said graciously, “See that it doesn’t, my good man.” He returned to his call. “Now, what was Miss Lucy last seen wearing?” He’d heard that question asked during one of Jack’s police shows on TV. “Ahh… I see…” Hawk stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Just her fur…”

He glanced over to see Ianto writing furiously, not noticing that his Taddy’s shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.

“Do not worry, Citizen, I shall begin my interesting investigating immediately!” he announced dramatically as he flung his arm into the air. “I shall be with you straight away!”

Jack couldn’t take it any longer. He clapped his hand over his mouth and ran for the bedroom, where he flung himself onto the king-sized bed, buried his face in a pillow and howled with laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

Meanwhile back in the kitchen, Hawk handed the receiver to his taddy to hang up. “Butler Taddy, prepare the Meow Machine!”

Ianto stood and saluted sharply. “Yes, sir!”

“I shall be back!” Hawk shouted before he rushed away to his bedroom, pausing at the end of his bed to look around for anyone who might see where the entrance to his private hideout was located. Satisfied there were no intruders, he opened the nondescript used-to-be-an-ordinary-closet door and darted into his top-secret lair, activating the motion-sensitive lights. He knew exactly the outfit he needed to wear in order to find a lost kitty. 

Hawk quickly pulled on black leggings and a pair of soft leather shoes that looked suspiciously like ballet flats but which Babs had sworn were not, and a T-shirt that had a black cat’s face with enormous yellow-green eyes staring out… Hawk had liberated it from Bethy’s closet having declared those kitty eyes the perfect accessory to help him look for evil-doers. It was much too big but Hawk solved that problem by rolling up the sleeves and fastening his utility belt around his waist. 

Finally, he finished his outfit with an oversized straw sun hat which had a wide length of black lace sewn onto the back half courtesy of one of the wardrobe guys from Walter’s studio. It was long enough that it reached his butt and made the perfect lightweight summer cape. Last but not least, Hawk donned a pair of vintage cat’s-eye sunglasses, a wonderful addition to his wardrobe courtesy of Babs and eBay.

Pleased with his appearance, Hawk grabbed Fang from his favourite spot on the windowsill and tucked him under his arm before hurrying out to the driveway where Ianto waited patiently, having parked the black Meow Machine next to his own Taddy Truck. Within minutes both vehicles were travelling down the street to Biddy McGrath’s home and when they arrived, Captain Kitty Hawk leapt from his machine with a flourish.

“I have arrived!” he declared to the neighbourhood at large as he swept off his sunglasses. He turned to look at Fang. “Minion, I shall leave it up to you… would you like to come investigating with me or would you rather remain here, guarding the Meow Machine.” 

Fang just blinked slowly at him, then curled up in his basket and dozed off in the sunshine.

“Hmpf… Good choice, Minion.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

“Captain Kitty Hawk, thank you so much for coming over!” Mrs McGrath came out onto the porch and clasped her hands over her ample bosom. “Would you like to come in for milk and cookies before you get started?”

Hawk perked up thinking a snack would be perfect but then Captain Kitty Hawk took control and he sighed deeply. Old Biddy McGrath made the bestest chocolate chip cookies in the village cos she added M&Ms and nuts as well as chocolate chips, and each cookie was huge. 

Ianto could see how much Hawk wanted to join Mrs McGrath so he offered a compromise. “I believe that milk and cookies would be the perfect ending to a perfect investigation.” Hawk looked at his taddy hopefully. “Perhaps you could join Mrs McGrath afterwards?”

“Oh yes!” Hawk’s little face lit up beneath his sunhat. “That would be great… I mean,” and his voice dropped a bit and he looked at Mrs McGrath. “Thank you, Citizen. I would love to sit with you later.”

Mrs McGrath glanced over at Ianto and smiled, their eyes twinkling. She had made several dozen of her famous cookies for Hawk to take home for sharing with everyone else.

“Now,” Captain Kitty Hawk put his sunglasses back on. “Where does Miss Lucy like to sunbathe herself?”

Mrs McGrath walked to the end of her porch and pointed toward the bed of bluebells, violets and forget-me-nots. “This is her favourite spot, right there by that stray patch of red clover.” 

Captain Kitty Hawk marched over to the bed of blue flowers and carefully stepped between the plants. He took a small magnifying glass from its pouch on his utility belt and squatted next to a space amongst the pretty clover, it was clearly a kitty nest. He examined the flowers, the leaves and the dirt, nodding and muttering to himself. Finally, he backed out just as carefully as before until he could turn around. Tucking the magnifying glass away, he took off his hat and set it off to the side before laying down in the sun. After several minutes of quiet contemplation, the Captain stretch luxuriously like a big cat and then he rolled over onto his belly, star-fishing in the grass.

Ianto had walked up to the wide porch and while their Superhero conducted his investigation, he was sitting in a rocking chair next to Mrs McGrath, sipping iced tea. “How have you been, Esme?”

“Quite well, Ianto, thank you. My arthritis is behaving, my tomatoes are growing like weeds and my grandkids will be visiting next month.” Esme McGrath smiled warmly at Ianto. “How’s goes the madness in your house?” Her eyes twinkled merrily, knowing full well the chaos that often engulfed the Harkness-Jones home.

“Same old, same old,” Ianto grinned happily. “Jack turns into a big kid when he plays with Hawk. Yesterday they were running around the backyard shrieking like banshees and chasing poor unsuspecting butterflies!”

Esme laughed with delight. “Did they catch any?”

“Not a one, but it wasn’t for the lack of trying.” Ianto shook his head. “I was watching out the kitchen window and laughing like a fiend. There was a big yellow one – a flutterby, as Hawk called them – perched on a tiger lily and Jack threw himself at it, only to land on his face in the dirt. Hawk laughed so hard he fell over, landing on Jack and both of them laughed til their tummies hurt. After a while, the Goat came into the yard and chased them away. They came inside, had some lemonade and fell asleep on the sofa.”

“Oh, bless their hearts,” Esme smiled at Ianto. She was immensely fond of the whole family, but this seemingly ageless Welshman was her favourite. When Angus, her husband of fifty-five years suddenly passed away last year, Ianto had activated the phone tree and within fifteen minutes the first of the villagers had arrived to sit and have tea with Esme while others arrived later with casseroles and muffins, sympathetic ears and warm hugs. He’d also made all the necessary arrangements for the man’s cremation and memorial service. 

Movement caught Ianto’s eye and he looked over to see his son crawling slowly across the lawn. Captain Kitty Hawk had put his sunhat back on and with the cape spread across his back, he reminded Ianto of a big black bug. “Pssst…” he whispered, getting Esme’s attention. 

Esme looked where Ianto was pointing and had to clap her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

It took a moment for Ianto to be sure that his voice was properly solemn before he spoke. “Captain?” he called out.

The only response he received was an arm shooting out from the hunched figure to wave vaguely in Ianto’s direction before vanishing again beneath the lace cape and the lump started shuffling slowly across the grass again. 

“Captain, Mrs McGrath has a batch of freshly baked jumbo chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven in a few minutes.”

The black lump stopped moving.

“She is wondering if perhaps you require re-fuelling at this stage in your investigation or if you would like to continue working for a spell and have milk and cookies at the end as we discussed earlier.”

The black lump leapt into the air as if shot from a cannon, whirling around in mid-air and turning into a Superhero before dashing over to the porch, cape flowing out behind. He skidded to a halt and then casually leant against Ianto’s leg and removed his kitty sunglasses. 

“Thank you, Butler Taddy, for looking out for me.”

“It is my honour, sir, I understand how exhausting it must be to conduct such a thorough investigation.” Ianto nodded his head. “You really must keep up your strength if you are going to rescue poor sweet Miss Lucy from the clutches of Villains and Evil-Doers.”

Through the open window they heard a bell ding in the kitchen. “That would mean the cookies are ready to come out of the oven.” Esme rose. “Captain Kitty Hawk,” she asked, “would you please guard my seat while I’m in the kitchen?”

Hawk swept his sunhat from his head and brought it to his chest just the way he’d seen the swashbuckling feline from Puss-in-Boots do in his current favourite film; Jack had brought it home several weeks ago and he and Hawk had already watched it seven times. He’d spent one whole rainy Saturday afternoon practicing the move in front of his bedroom mirror until he’d gotten it just right. 

“It would be my honour, Good Biddy McGrath.”

Ianto had managed to grab hold of his glass of iced tea just as the swirl of Hawk’s cape caught it and threatened to tip it over and now he enjoyed a long sip of the cold, refreshing drink as he watched his son… he watched the Superhero standing in front of the rocking chair with his hands on his hips and his legs spread apart in the same stance that Jack had been known to take for decades. ‘I wonder if Jack taught him that or if he learned from Jack or if just comes by it naturally.’

Secret identity hidden once again behind his sunhat and kitty glasses, Captain Kitty Hawk posed like all good Superheroes do when surveying the world around them, simply daring the bad guys to show their faces, cos when they did… ‘I am going to be Kitty-on-the-Spot and nab them!’


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

It only took a few minutes for Esme to return, tray in hand. “Captain, would you mind giving me a hand here?” she called out.

Hawk jumped at the chance to behave like a proper gentleman like his Taddy had taught him, and he rushed to hold open the screen door for his lovely Biddy, sniffing appreciatively as the delicious aroma of warm gooey cookies wafted past his nose. “Mmmm…!”

Ianto agreed. “Those do smell wonderful, Esme.”

“Thank you, Ianto, there’s plenty for you to take home.” Esme smiled fondly at him as she set the tray down. “Captain, if you would like to bring that stool over you can set your milk on that low table.”

Anxious to get his paws on a cookie, Hawk hurried to do as she suggested, pulling a small canvas stool over to a wicker table which Ianto moved from beside his chair around closer to the main table. “Looks perfect, Captain.”

“Thank you, Butler Taddy.” Esme set a plastic tumbler of milk down first and then watched as Hawk whipped off his sunglasses and clasped his hands over his mouth when she put down a plate with not one but two of her extra-large cookies. “Oh, thank you so much, Good Biddy McGrath!” He gazed up at Esme with an expression of true worship. 

Ianto chuckled into his iced tea. “I think you have just acquired your very own first Minion, Esme!”

Esme started to sit down and then remembered something. “I almost forgot, Captain!” She reached into her apron pocket. “Hold out your hand…” When he did, she dropped a small handful of pellets into his palm. “Treats for Fang. He deserves goodies too.” 

“Oh, yes! Thank you!” Hawk gasped and leapt to his feet. “Thank you so much!” He dashed away, cape billowing out behind him, to the Meow Machine where he found Fang sound asleep in the sunshine. “Fang! Wake up!”

Fang woke with a start and a grumbled “Mrrfff…”

“Look, Fang!” Hawk exclaimed. “See what Biddy McGrath has just for you!” He carefully set the treats down on the seat, making sure they didn’t slide off. 

The smell of the treats warming in the sun went straight to Fang’s nose and made his wee kitty mouth water. However, being a cat and all, and not wanting to appear too eager, he stood up and arched his back, then he extended his front legs out as far as they would go, and then one by one, he stretched out his back legs. Finally, he sat down, wrapped his tail around his feet and gave an enormous yawn. Satisfied that Hawk knew just how indifferent to bribery he was, Fang lifted one paw and licked it a few times before sauntering the eight steps necessary to reach the treats. 

They all smelled so good he wasn’t sure which one he was going to choose first, so he closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue and delicately picked up a morsel. ‘Gravylicious Chicken!’ Fang silently crowed with glee as he crunched it between his teeth, the wonderful flavour making his tastebuds dance. ‘My favourite!’ As soon as his mouth was empty he grabbed another… ‘Oh! Cheesy Craze!’ In his mind, Fang did a happy dance, standing on his back legs, waving his arms in the air, his tail swishing through the air like it just didn’t care. Calming down, he chose a third treat… ‘Shrimpy Shrimp?! Are you kidding me?!’ CRUNCH, crunch, crunch, crunch… all too soon it was gone but certainly not forgotten. 

His sensitive nose drew him to another treat and at the very first chomp, Fearless Fang the Magnificent Meow (his own secret Superhero name that even Captain Kitty Hawk didn’t know about cos it was that secret) swooned. ‘Lobster Lover’s Delight!’ He could feel himself getting week in the knees even if he didn’t really have any and with each chew the pure joy of deliciousness grew.

Captain Kitty Hawk watched his little black cat work his way through the treats and seeing how much Fang was enjoying each different one, he thought, ‘Biddy McGrath has a really good idea mixing up her treats like that.’

Fang surveyed the seat around him but alas, all the treats were gone. Sitting back on his haunches, he carefully cleaned his mouth and whiskers before going over and rubbing against the Captain, purring as loudly as he could, letting his human know how wonderful he was. Then the happy black kitty returned to his original spot, curling into a ball in his basket and settling down in the sun to finish his nap. He hoped he would dream of a world where treats of every flavour ran wild and free, just waiting to be pounced upon and devoured.

“Sleep well, faithful minion, I shall return!” Hawk rushed back to the porch and flung himself into Ianto’s lap.

“Well, hello there, Captain,” Ianto put his arm around his son and held him close. “What may I do for you?”

“Taddy, we have to do that too!” Hawk exclaimed excitedly. “Just like she did! Fang loved them like that!”

Ianto turned to Esme who just shrugged. “Do what, Hawk? What did Fang love?”

Hawk looked up at his father and gave an absolutely perfect imitation of the famed Jones Eye Roll. “We have to mix up the kitty treats all in one!” He frowned and stroked his chin. “We’ll need to go to the pet store and get a really big treats jar… I wonder if they have one in black?”

“We’ll go tomorrow, stock up on all the pet things we need,” Ianto agreed. “Maybe we’ll have ice cream after? Does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah!” Hawk perked up. “Can all the other kids come too?”

“Of course they can.” Ianto nodded, his mind already spinning with a plan. “Tell you what, we’ll go to the pet store first, then go to the park and play for a while and finally, we’ll get ice cream before we come home. Sound like a plan?”

“You are the bestest Taddy in the whole world!” Hawk slid off his father’s lap and did a happy dance, his little feet a blur of motion but then he caught sight of his jumbo chocolate chip cookies and he stopped in a heartbeat and dropped onto his stool. Parched from all the work he’d been doing, Hawk first took a long drink of his ice-cold milk, then he looked at the cookies, unable to decide which one to eat first. Finally, he decided to employ Babs and Bethy’s way of making up their minds when they couldn’t choose. 

“Eenie, meenie, miney, mo…” Hawk pointed back and forth between the cookies. “Which one is best I do not know. I’ll close my eyes and will not peek, show me the very best one to eat. Eenie, meenie, miney, mo!” His finger landed on the one to the left and he opened his eyes to see what his eenie meenie finger had chosen. “Oh goodie!! I was hoping it would be that one!” He picked it up and smelled it, inhaling reverently. 

“Hawk?”

“Yes, Taddy?” Hawk asked in a very small voice, and when he looked up at Ianto he had a guilty look on his face. “I’m sorry I sniffled up my food.” 

Normally, smelling one’s food before tasting it was considered bad manners at the Harkness-Jones table, even though Jack still did it occasionally. 

“It’s all right, Hawk, Mrs McGrath’s cookies have the best smell in the world. I can’t resist myself, see?” Ianto felt badly, not wanting to ruin Hawk’s day, so he picked up a cookie from the plate and waved it beneath his nose, loudly inhaling the scent. “Mmmmm…!”

“Yeah!” Hawk perked up, seeing that he wasn’t in trouble.

“Yeah,” Ianto repeated, his heart beating just a bit faster upon seeing the happiness beaming from his child. “No, what I was going to ask was, if that’s the cookie you wanted all along, then why did you do eenie, meenie?”

Hawk gave his father that look of fond exasperation that only a child can give. “It might not have been the right one, Taddy.”

For a split second, Ianto’s mouth hung open, then it snapped shut as he blinked several times, his mind working furiously trying to figure out the logic of his son’s brain. “I see. Well, all right then… well-chosen, sir.”

“Thank you, Taddy.” Hawk took a nibble of his cookie and sighed happily before taking a big bite. His eyes widened. “Am I tasting butterscotch?” he asked slowly after chewing and swallowing, because while his Taddy might allow him to sniff his food this one time, Ianto would never forgive his talking with his mouth full and probably spewing crumbs everywhere.

“Why yes, you do!” Esme was delighted. “I tried a new recipe; I added butterscotch chips in with the chocolate ones and the walnuts. I should have known a Superhero such as yourself would be able to detect them. Well done, Captain!”

“Mmmmm…” Hawk was too busy devouring his cookie to respond. He alternated between small nibbles – cos he didn’t want the cookie to be gone too soon – and big bites – cos it was just too good to resist.

It didn’t take long before cookies and milk were both gone and Captain Kitty Hawk donned his sunhat and cape and slid his kitty sunglasses into place. Bowing before Esme he took her hand in his. “Thank you, Good Biddy McGrath for giving me the strength to go on with my Interesting Investigation. I promise I will solve the Disappearance of Miss Lucy.”

Esme struggled to keep from smiling. “I cannot ask for more, my lovely Captain.”


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The Captain whirled around and dashed off the porch, returning to the lawn where he dropped to his knees and once again became a black lump crawling through the grass toward the neighbour’s house. 

He pulled out his magnifying glass and began creeping along very slowly, swinging back and forth as he examined things in his path. A pretty ladybird came into view and he spent several minutes watching it, admiring her red and yellow wings as she too crawled across the grass. Finally, she spread her wings and flew away, and the Captain got back to his official investigation, but he was going to remember to tell Maisey about it, thinking maybe they could draw and colour it later.

“I wonder if Walty would give me one of his little cameras. I could take pictures of wonderful things.” He nodded wisely to himself.

Then a ginger hair gleaming in the sunlight caught his eye and he jumped up again, taking the few steps to his find. “Ah-hah!!!” He took a pair of tweezers – gifted to him by Bethy back when he was deciding what he would need – (he had really wanted all the wonderful things he knew Batman had but Daddy told him they weren’t available online yet) – from his tool kit and knelt, carefully picking up the hair and placing it in a slider-top plastic bag, then he sat back on his heels and looked around, almost immediately finding a second hair and then a third. He could easily see where Miss Lucy had rolled around in the freshly mown grass and within minutes he’d collected nearly a dozen ginger hairs, all found along a path leading toward the large garden Esme and her neighbours, the Kealoha’s, shared. 

Squinting his eyes he looked at the flowers edging the vegetable garden and there, in the dirt, was a perfect paw print. Popping up to his feet he turned back toward the porch. “Psssstttt…!” he sputtered. 

Esme and Ianto continued to talk, sharing variations in an old recipe for a dessert they’d discovered they both enjoyed.

“I said, PPPSSSSSTTTT!” he repeated much, much louder this time, waving his arms at them. 

When the adults were finally looking at him, he put his finger to his lips indicating he wanted quiet, then he pointed dramatically toward the neighbour’s side garden. “I think I’ve found something!” he mouthed silently.

Ianto frowned and squinted at his son, trying to figure out what he was saying but in the end he just nodded and smiled and waved. 

Captain Kitty Hawk stood there on the lawn, waiting for Butler Taddy to join him only see him turn back to his conversation with Biddy McGrath. Exasperated, the Captain stamped his foot and glared. “Sometimes good help is so hard to find,” he grumbled under his breath. Looking over at his father again, he saw that he was still being ignored while the grups laughed about something. “Fine!” he huffed indignantly. “I’ll do it myself!”

Captain Kitty Hawk squatted down and then took a giant, Superhero jump forward, landing right at the edge of flowers. Next, taking great care not to hurt any of the pretty blossoms, he then pounced graceful as a feline into the tulips and examined the path of little footprints. He counted one, two, three, four and then suddenly there were two sets of prints! Looking closer he saw that the second set of paw prints were a little bigger than the first and they were mishappen… he counted toes and found that instead of the usual four like Fang had on his front feet, one paw had six toes and the other had seven.

“What is going on here?!” he gasped. He counted the tiny impressions again just make sure he wasn’t imagining things and thought once more about asking Walter for a little camera. He knew Maisey would love to see pictures of such strange goings-on. 

Creeping forward slowly, nose close to the ground so he wouldn’t miss anything, Hawk followed the two sets of paw prints, careful to avoid hurting any of the radishes and carrots growing on either side of him. He was so intent on looking down at the ground that when something reached out and swatted him on the head it scared him to bits! 

“AAAHHH!” He reared up and then fell back onto his bottom, his cape catching beneath him and pulling his hat off. His eyes were wide as he glanced around wildly, trying to figure out what had happened and who had hit him.

“Grrr-mmmuffff?” 

Hawk looked between his splayed feet and found two sets of eyes looking back at him. 

One set belonged to a kitty who could only be Miss Lucy… she was pretty, petite and ginger and had lovely yellow eyes.

The other set belonged to a much larger, much fluffier cat who stared back at him through emerald green eyes that seemed to say, ‘What are you doing here? You have interrupted our nap!’

“Ummm…” For a moment, Hawk really didn’t know what to say so he jumped to his feet and quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen him fall down. One could never be too careful when there might be evil-doers and scoundrals up to no good. He noticed his hat lying in the radishes and he quickly put it on, smoothing the cape as best he could, and then he adjusted his utility belt. With his Superhero persona back in place, he looked at the two cats, who looked back at him with cool kitty indifference. 

“Greetings, Citizens! I am Captain Kitty Hawk!” He struck his daddy’s Superhero pose, feet planted firmly in the dirt and his hands on his hips. “I am on a quest to find Miss Lucy.” He bowed elegantly before her. “Please come with me, dear kitty.”

Lucy blinked at him, wiggled her ears back and forth and then one corner of her mouth twitched a bit, but that was the extent of her reply.

On the other hand, the big Persian cat stood up and Hawk noticed just how big he was as he stretched all his legs and shook himself all over, which made him looked even bigger when he was all fluffed up. With his tail straight up in the air, he stalked over to stand in front of Hawk, looking up at him with those big green eyes.

“Rrrr… merrrooow?” 

Hawk nodded. “It’s nice to meet you too, Sir.” He reached down and scooped the big cat into his arms, managing with some effort to turn him around so he faced outward. “This way you can see where we’re going, okay?” He glanced over his shoulder. “You come too, please, Miss Lucy.” 

Even though he started off with a good grip around the cat’s middle, with each step he took, the feline started to slip just a bit, so Hawk had to keep hoisting him up, but then the problem was that the Persian was so long that Hawk could barely see over his head to see where he was going and the kitty’s back feet were scraping along the grass making it difficult to walk. Somewhere along the way, Hawk lost his sun hat and black lace cape so if anyone were walking behind him, they would have seen Captain Kitty Hawk had a big fluffy tail poking out from between his legs. 

When he arrived at the stairs, Hawk realised that there was no way he was going to climb them properly and he stood there, contemplating… ‘What would Puss in Boots do?’ And then it hit him! Carefully he turned around and plopped down on the first step and pushed upwards with his legs until his bottom was on the next step.

With his back to the adults, he couldn’t see that Esme and Ianto wore matching expressions of amazement as they rocked back and forth in their seats in silent laughter and watched their wee Superhero slowly manoeuvre his way up the six steps. 

When at last he reached the top, he flopped onto his back, his breath coming in little puffs; it was just a tad difficult to breathe with a fifteen-pound cat on his chest. He looked upside down at Esme and panted, “I caught the kit…” He took a deep breath. “I mean, I have apprehended the feline culprit. I found this kitty with Miss Lucy hiding in the neighbour’s rhubarb patch, conoodling together.” He made his official report to Biddy McGrath. 

When she was sure she could speak without laughing, Esme said, “He and I are well acquainted, Captain. He lives next door…” 

Esme was interrupted by a loud and plaintive “Meeeeooooow?” and she looked down to see Miss Lucy at the bottom of the stairs looking up at them.

“Merrrroow?” the kitty asked again. “Raowww?”

“All right, Lucy, hold on just a second.” Esme nodded. “It’s all right, Captain, you can let Mr Arastoo go free. He and Miss Emma are good friends and enjoy spending time together. I believe he is wooing her.”

Ianto smiled upon hearing such an old-fashioned word… wooing. It brought forth images of warm afternoons spent in a garden, the only sounds to be heard were the gentle gurgle of the water fountain and the soft hum of insects. He thought about sitting with Jack on a swinging bench, moving slowly back and forth as they held hands. 

He then thought how glad he was that Miss Lucy had been part of the village’s Spay and Neuter Program for Strays before she found her forever home. ‘I wonder if Mr Arastoo has been fixed…’

‘Wooing?’ Hawk cocked his head and thought about that word for a moment and then his face lit up in a huge smile. ‘That’s a great word!’ He tucked it away to mull over later… he’d heard Walter tell a stagehand that he would “…mull over the changes and I’ll get back to you when I decide” so he knew it meant to think about it for a while.

“Mr… What is his name?” Ianto asked. “Arastoo?”

“Yes,” Esme nodded. “Arastoo. In Farsi, the language of Ancient Persia, it means the Philosopher, after Aristotle and it is quite an appropriate name, as Mr Arastoo is prone to spending long hours hiding in shady places, watching the world go by and thinking about what he sees.”

“That is very interesting.” Ianto was impressed. “Someone put a great deal of thought into choosing his name.”

“He belongs to my new neighbours, Liko and Minda-Mae Kealoha.” Esme pointed to next door. “They’re a delightful young couple, just starting out. They moved here from Hawaii a few months ago.”

“That’s right. So, how are they working out?” 

“Very well,” Esme smiled happily. “They’re both avid gardeners and they’re the ones who suggested that we combine our back gardens extending them so to we can share in larger crops, and they have been doing most of the work. I must admit, everything is growing better than ever under their care.”

Ianto nodded. “Maybe I will have them come over to look at my dahlias… I think they should be taller and I swear the flower heads were bigger last season.”

“I’m sure they love to help, Ianto. They are really very nice. I almost forgot to tell you.” Esme refilled their glasses. “Liko opened that little hardware store across the street from the bakery…”

“Jack loves that store!” Ianto exclaimed. “He and Ton are in there several times a week and I swear they come home with ‘treasures’…” He made little air quotes around the word. “…as they call them, every time. I have no idea what they do with all the stuff.” Ianto shook his head despairingly. “After they show off whatever they bought, they disappear into the barn or the shed or the garage and emerge with empty hands and mysterious satisfied smiles.”

“Ton brought a something or other to show me one day,” Esme laughed. “To this day I have no idea what it was, but he was as proud as a new father showing off his newest baby!”

Ianto joined in the laughter. “That does sound like Ton. Sometimes the simplest things just amaze him.” 

Esme smiled over Ton’s antics. “Minda-Mae is the new first grade teacher, River speaks very highly of her… they met when River was in Hawaii this past winter. Back in January, when Carys Bailey announced she would be leaving at the end of term to start a family, River contacted Minda-Mae to see if she would be interested in coming here to teach.”

“I trust River’s judgement implicitly,” Ianto nodded. “I’m sure Minda-Mae will work out wonderfully.”

“Taddy?” Hawk plopped down at Ianto’s feet.

“Yes, son?” Ianto stroked Hawk’s head.

“May I have a drink of your iced tea, please?” Hawk implored.

Ianto suppressed a smile. ‘Clearly being a Superhero is hard, sweaty work.’


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

“Why don’t I get you a glass of cold lemonade?” Esme offered and then paused as a thought occurred. “I don’t suppose that you might need another cookie after such a clever investigation?”

“Oh yes!” Hawk perked right up and looked at Ianto with big sad eyes. “Can I, Taddy? I am so starving I’m hungry!”

Ianto barely resisted rolling his own eyes. ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that was Jack looking at me! How does he do that?’ 

“Please??” Somehow those beautiful brown eyes got even bigger, even sadder.

Knowing there was no way he could resist such a face, Ianto nodded. “But only one, young man. Superhero or not, you still have to eat your dinner… including all of your veggies.”

“Oh, thank you, Taddy!” Hawk hugged Ianto’s legs tightly and then went and sat on his stool at his little table. “Thank you, Biddy McGrath!”

“It’s my please, Captain. I’ll be right back.” Esme entered the house and then popped her head back out the door. “Would you rather have a glass of milk with the cookie? Good for dipping, you know.”

Hawk clasped his hands in front of him with excitement. “Oh, yes, please!”

It only took Esme a few minutes to return to the porch with a small tray which she set down before Hawk. There was a glass of milk, a plate with a big cookie on it, and several napkins for help with any drips from a dunked cookie.

“Wow!” Ianto smiled. “I didn’t get my own tray, you know. Captain Kitty Hawk is very fortunate.”

It took a moment for Ianto’s words to register. “You didn’t get a tray, Taddy?”

Ianto shook his head. “Nope” and he popped the ‘P’.

“You can share mine, if you want,” Hawk offered.

“Why, thank you, Captain, that’s very sweet of you but I do believe you have earned this honour after such a daring rescue. Miss Lucy is a very lucky young lady to have been saved by such a brave Superhero.”

Hawk wiggled with delight. “Yeah!” He sighed as he bit into his cookie. 

A half an hour later, Esme handed Ianto a basket filled with enough of her delicious cookies for the entire Harkness-Jones clan to enjoy, and then she handed Hawk a small container. “These are special treats for Fang.”

Hawk lit up. “Thank you!” He rushed off to the Meow Machine, where he shook the plastic container, making the treats rattle enticingly and he thanked Fang – who’d never left his basket except for those delicious treats – for guarding their Superhero mobile so well and so bravely.

Fang just looked at him and yawned ferociously, then he tucked his nose back into his tail and went back to sleep.

“Esme, thank you so much for everything.” Ianto hugged the elderly woman tightly. “You knew where she was all the time, didn’t you,” he whispered in her ear. 

“You’ve caught me out,” Esme admitted with a big smile. “But it’s such lovely day and I couldn’t think of any people I’d rather spend it with.”

“Shame on you,” Ianto laughed as he released her. “Now don’t forget, you are coming over for to ours on Sunday. I’m looking forward to making a proper Sunday dinner… a yummy joint, lovely roasty potatoes… I haven’t made Yorkshire puddings in a long time so I’ll need you there to help me with those.”

Esme sighed happily. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll bring my grandmother’s recipe with me.”

[*****] 

Two days later, Ianto was marshalling the troops, making sure everyone was wearing their underpants under their shorts and not on their heads this time. He still remembered the day just the previous week when Jack had taken the kids to the park and let them wear their Superhero Underoos on their heads because they were the perfect Superhero helmets and the leg holes made them into perfect masks when they pulled the pants down over their faces. “And besides, poor Taddy,” Hawk had patted Ianto’s hand sympathetically. “They’re ‘underwear that’s fun to wear’!” he was solemnly informed.

Hands on his hips, Ianto surveyed the bunch. “Shoes?”

Five pairs of feet were raised… all the left shoes were on the left feet and the right shoes on the right ones.

Ianto nodded approvingly. “Well done! Okay, now, hands?”

Five pairs of hands were held out for Ianto to check.

“Lovely and clean! You are positively the bestest children I ever did see!” Ianto exclaimed with pride.

“Yeah!” Pandemonium broke out as five different little happy dances were performed simultaneously in the foyer. 

“Well,” Ianto bounced the car keys up and down in his hand. “If you’d rather stay here and dance, I guess I’ll just have to go to the pet store all by my lonesome.” He stuck out his lower lip. “Poor me,” he said oh-so-sadly. “Who’s going to help me eat my Maccas?”

Maccas… The instant silence was deafening. 

“Poor Taddy Ianto!” Maisey was the first one to react. “Don’t be sad! We’ll help you eat your Maccas! We promise!”

The other kids crowded around Ianto. “Us too! We’ll help!”

Ianto sighed deeply as he looked at five eager faces. “Well, if you’re sure.”

“Yeah!” Five voice chorused.

“I mean, really sure.”

Hawk grabbed his father’s hand and pulled him down to eye level. Putting his wee hands on either side of Ianto’s face he declared, “I promise I will eat one whole Happy Meal all by myself and then I’ll help you with yours, okay?”

Ianto kissed his little forehead. “Okay.”

[*****] 

Once inside the pet store, Ianto immediately lost four of his troop to Jenny, one of the store’s employees and a firm favourite of the kids. 

“Well, Hawk-man, that leaves us.” Ianto grabbed a carry basket. “Let’s go find a proper kitty treat jar, shall we?” He pointed Hawk in the right direction, watched him dash off and then followed at a more adult pace. Rounding the corner he found Hawk bouncing from one treat jar to the next, unable to decide there were so many on display. 

Grinning as Hawk debated the merits of nine different jars, Ianto thought back to the night before. While giving his son his bath and then tucking him into bed, Hawk had talked non-stop about the treats jar, telling Ianto all about what he was looking for… what colour, the size, what shape it would have… “I’ll know it the minute I see it, Taddy!”

Ianto could tell the minute Hawk decided on the jar he wanted but he was then taken aback when Hawk started “Eenie, meenie, miney, mo…” pointing back and forth between all the jars. 

When ‘mo’ landed on the wrong jar and Ianto saw his little shoulders droop, Ianto thought quickly and said, “look, Hawk! I think Fang might like this new dish? What do you think?” The moment Hawk went to the opposite shelf, Ianto switched two of the jars. “Hmmm… you know something?”

“What, Taddy?”

“Hawk-man, I hate to tell you but I think your “Eenie, meenie” was off… I think you’d better do it again, just to be safe. After all, we don’t want to pick the wrong one, do we?”

Hawk looked at his father through narrowed eyes, knowing something was going on but not quite sure what. “Okaaay…” With an eye roll Ianto would be proud of… if Hawk had let him see it… Hawk began again. “Eenie, meenie, miney, mo…” He pointed back and forth and this time his joy was clear when ‘mo’ landed right on the jar that he’d seen earlier. “Yeah!” He jumped up and down with excitement.

“Is that the right one?”

“Oh yes, Taddy! It’s just the one that Fang wants!” Hawk clasped his hands and looked back and forth between the jar and Ianto. “It’s perfect!”

“If you’re sure, let’s put it in the basket…” Ianto held his breath as Hawk reached up and took hold of the jar, pulling it off the shelf. “Carefully… there you go! Well done!”

Hawk’s little face was lit up with happiness as he slipped his hand into Ianto’s. “Thank you, Taddy.”

“You’re welcome, son.” Ianto’s throat clenched as he realised times like this would become fewer and fewer as Hawk grew up. “Let’s go find the rest of the heathens and check out, all right?”

As Ianto approached the cashier he gave a short whistle and immediately a small herd thundered up behind him. He turned to count heads only to find that all four children were clutching dog toys.

“Listen, Hawk! It squeaks!” Jax thrust his toy at his best friend and began squeezing the rubber dinosaur.

“This one does too!” Maisey waved a big furry chicken around, making it squeak as it flew.

Ianto sighed with all the patience of a parent who truly had seen it all. “You do know that those are dog toys, right?” 

Four little heads all nodded, with bright eyes and big smiles on their faces. 

“And I suppose they all make sounds?” 

A loud demonstration ensued, toys all squeaking away as they flew through the air.

“Enough!” Ianto’s tone brought an immediate end to the noise. “Put your toys in the basket.” Once everyone’s hands were empty, he set the basket on the counter and smiled at the cashier. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry, Mr Jones.” The cashier smiled at one of his favourite customers. “At least these toys aren’t covered with dog drool.” He laughed. “The other day I had a Neapolitan Mastiff who refused to let go of his new toy, so the owner had him stand up and put his front paws on the counter right where you’re standing so I could scan the tag.” The young man gave a full body shudder. “The slobber dripping off that dog’s jowls… I had to spray the counter three times before I was sure it was all gone,” he grimaced. “I’ll take a bit of squeaking any day.”

“Those Italian mastiffs really do slobber a lot,” Ianto laughed. “But they are such beautiful animals and such good protective dogs for kids.” As he spoke he watched his purchases being rung up but didn’t notice til he’d accepted his credit card back and signed his receipt that somehow his lovely children had managed to slip in two extra toys. He turned around to ask but the sight of five shining little faces filled with innocence just made him smile and shake his head.

“Thank you, Thad,” he smiled as he accepted the canvas shopping bag he’d pulled from a seemingly bottomless pocket, and then he straightened his shoulders. “Now, if we can go out quietly and get into the car in an orderly fashion, I do believe we just absolutely have to pass a McDonald’s on the way home.” 

There was a collective gasp and as one, five wee bodies turned and marched single file out and then without a single argument over who got to sit in which seat and by what window this time, they found their spots, fastened their seatbelts and looked at Ianto expectantly.

“Wow!” he exclaimed. “That was amazing! Wait til we get home and I tell everyone what wonderful, well behaved children we have! Daddy will be so proud!”

Hawk was sitting next to him up front, Maisey and Jax sat in the middle seat and the twins had the third row seat and they all beamed at him as if they were the most wonderful children in the world… but Ianto wasn’t completely fooled. He knew perfectly well that after enjoying their Happy Meals and playing with their new toys, things would get back to normal and they’d be the same wild bunch he loved.

As he pulled the SUV out into traffic he looked into the rearview mirror. “So, show of hands… who wants to get their Maccas and go to the park for a picnic?”

Six hands shot up in the air.

“Hawk-man, you can only vote once,” Ianto said, barely keeping a giggle from popping out.

“Oh…” One little hand went down and one lower lip started to stick out.

“Don’t worry, wee man, everyone else voted yes just like you,” Ianto comforted him. “It’s settled then, we’ll go through the drive-thru and head for the park!”

“Yeah!”


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

After tucking a worn-out little boy into bed and kissing him good-night, Ianto sat at the kitchen table. He’d covered the surface with newspaper and had the thoroughly washed and dried treats jar in front of him. Assembled to the side of him were several small pots of glow-in-the-dark paint, several fine-tipped paint brushes and a bottle of brush cleaner, all of which Walter had picked up from the Art Department of the studio and had dropped off on his way home.

“Whatcha doing, Yan?” Jack wandered into the kitchen and set his book on the table enroute to the coffee pot.

“Making our son a hero in Fang’s eyes, even if that silly cat doesn’t realise it.”

Jack didn’t understand what his husband was talking about but it didn’t matter as long as they could spend a few quiet hours together before it was time to turn in for the night.

“Here you go, Yan.” Jack set a mug of coffee within Ianto’s reach, then sat down and started reading his new mystery who-dun-it. 

With a steady hand and a critical eye, Ianto carefully painted large cat’s eyes on the jar. Half-an-hour later, he was finally satisfied with his work; getting the pupil of the second eye so it matched the first and didn’t look wonky had been frustrating to say the least. He sat back and stretched his arms as high over his head as he could and then each one down the back if his neck, feeling the wonderful stretch as tight muscles loosened. He twisted his head this way and that, relieving the tension.

“You know,” Jack spoke without looking up from his book… he was at a very exciting place, after all. “I could be convinced to give you a backrub later on, if you think it would help?”

“Cariad, you are a prince among men and I do love you so much.”

“Well, yeah!” Jack pretended to snort. “I wouldn’t have married you if you didn’t.”

“Yes, well, I think it was more like marry me, marry my coffee!”

Finally Jack put down his book, picked up his mug, drained it and sighed deeply. “And didn’t I luck out all around!”

Ianto rolled his eyes and gave Jack an indulgent smile. “Yes, you did and I will never forget it.”

“More like never let me forget it, you mean!” Jack’s eyes twinkled merrily.

“Yes, that too,” Ianto smiled serenely. “Now, would you please turn off the lights, Cariad?”

“Why? Wanna make out right here in the table?” Jack positively leered at his husband.

“Jack!” Ianto pretended to be scandalised. “We eat on this table! Our children eat on this table!”

“Well, yeah, but remember the days when we did crazy stuff like that?” 

“Back when Walter could sleep through anything,” Ianto’s tone was wistful. “Remember that really violent thunderstorm that blew over the big tree in the front yard?”

Jack nodded. “Smashed your car into pancake, that’s for sure.”

“He slept through that like a rock.” 

“Yeah. I kept thinking I should grab the two of you, stick you in the bathtub and cover you with the mattress.”

Ianto blinked slowly. “Why would you do that?”

“Cos that’s what people in Tornado Alley over in the States do when the storm warning siren goes off.”

“Okay…” Ianto shrugged. “Anyway… lights?”

Jack tipped his chair backwards and reached behind him to the switch and the room was plunged into darkness. As he set his chair back down he was startled to see two big eyes glowing in the dark, looking right at him. “Gah!”

“You can turn the lights back on, you silly man.” Ianto started to giggle and then to laugh out loud. 

“Hey!”

“It’s okay, Cariad, that’s exactly the reaction that will make Hawk dance with joy.” Ianto began cleaning up his work materials. “Just remember to do that the same way again tomorrow night when he sees this, okay?”

“Trust me, Yan, it’ll be a BAFTA-worthy performance, I promise!”

[*****] 

Ten Days Later

At kitchen table, Ianto was peeling potatoes and carrots and chopping celery and onion for dinner while a bowl of apples sat off to the side, ready to be prepped for an apple custard recipe that Esme McGrath had given him the week before. In between sips of Ianto’s ‘Special Jack Blend’ of coffee, Jack was reading him snippets from the local newspaper.

“The school is looking for volunteers for their fall fete… people to run the booths and the rides…” He raised his cup, breathing in the delicious aroma before taking a sip. “Oooo… Yan, they’re looking for several people to judge the baking…” His eyes widened. “Oh and the jams and jellies too! Yan, I can do that! I’m gonna volunteer!”

Ianto looked up from perusing the recipe and smiled at his husband. “You would be wonderful judge, Cariad… just keep in mind you’re really only allowed one, possibly two… bites of each thing… you cannot eat the entire cake or pie or whatever.”

“Awwww...!” Jack pouted for a few minutes, watching as Ianto put the vegetables and potatoes into the bottom of a cooking bag, tucked in a large roasting chicken, added homemade broth and freshly churned butter from the Williams’ Brothers Dairy – it was only six cows but they gave prodigious amounts of milk – and then tied up the opening. His stomach gave an anticipatory grumble, knowing that pretty soon the kitchen was going to smell divinely good. 

“You know,” Ianto filled Jack’s mug and then his own and returned to the table. “I was thinking this wee…”

“Wooooooo…” A faint sound floated on the wind.

Jack frowned. “What was that?”

“What was what?” Ianto looked around but didn’t see anything.

“That noise. Did you leave the radio on in the other room?”

Ianto shook his head. “Never turned it on this morning.”

“Huh…” Jack went back to his paper. “Well, I’m gonna volunteer anyway,” he declared. “A few bites are better than nothing.” 

“Keep in mind that some of what you judge might not taste very good.”

Jack frowned. “I hadn’t thought of that.” He finished his coffee and plunked down the mug a bit loudly, knowing that Ianto would take the not-so-subtle hint and refill it for him.

“Would you like more coffee by any chance, Cariad?” Ianto asked sweetly.

Jack quickly held out his mug. “Yes, please!” He watched eagerly as black gold was poured into it and when it was full, he took a long, deep sniff and sighed happily. “You are a prince… no, a king amongst men, Yan.”

“Yes, I am,” Ianto nodded with a smile. “I am king of the coffee makers.” He turned back and filled the bowl of apple pieces with water then squeezed lemon juice into it.

“Why’d you do that, Yan?” Jack was curious, he hadn’t seen that done before.

“Keeps them from turning brown til I’m ready to make the custard.”

“Cool beans.”

Ianto laughed. “Cool beans? Where did that come from?”

“Some CBeebies show the kids were watching the other day,” Jack shrugged. 

“You can be such a kid your…” He was interrupted.

“Wooooooo…!” 

“Okay, this time I definitely heard something!” Jack folded the newspaper and left the kitchen to check on the TV, the radio, the computers… anything noise could be coming from. He returned a few minutes later with an air of defeat. “Couldn’t find a thing.”

“Maybe it was the wind?”

“There aren’t any open windows.” Jack shook his head.

“Well then I don’t know.” Ianto quickly washed up the few dirty things in the sink and dried his hands. “There… done.” He held up the coffee pot. “More coffee, Jack?”

“You never have to ask, Yan, I will always want more.” Jack drained his third mugful. “It’s a good thing I’m immune to caffeine! I could drink your coffee all day long!”

“You are incorrigible, Car…” He was interrupted again.

“Wooooooo…!” This time the sound was coming from right outside the kitchen door and Ianto looked over just in time to see something grey pass by. “Wooooooo…!” 

He held his finger to his lips and then grabbed the grocery list, scribbling ‘Hawk.’ Out loud he gasped loudly. “Good heavens, Cariad! I think we have a ghostie in our house!”

Jack stifled a laugh. “Oh no! What will we do?!” he cried out loudly. “Yan, I’m scared!”

Ianto slipped over to the door, waiting for…

“Wooooooo…!” 

And he reached out and snatched the wee ghostie, whirling it through the air. “Gotcha!”

“Oh, Yan, you caught the ghostie!” Jack exclaimed in a high-pitched girlie voice. “You are so brave!”

“Yes, I am.” Ianto whirled the ghostie around again and it started to giggle. “Listen, Jack! It’s making ghostie noises!”

“What do you think it’s trying to say?” He snuck over and tickled its tummy making it laugh out loud.

“I could be wrong, cos I haven’t spoken ghostie for a long time, but I think it’s saying, ‘I want a snack’.”

[*****] 

Jack held up the ghostie costume, admiring its construction. “This is amazing, Hawk. Did you make this?” He laid it across the back of the nearby chair.

Hawk shook his head vigorously, his mouthful of banana. “Ga-ger id…”

“Would you like to finish chewing and then answer like a gentleman?” Ianto’s tone was mild and he spoke without looking up from the cookbook he was perusing, but he got his point across.

Moments later they heard a meek little voice. “Sorry, Taddy.”

“Thank you. Now, what were you trying to say?”

“It’s so cool!” Hawk nearly bounced out of his seat he was so excited. “Gregor made it for me!”

Jack peered over the top of the newspaper he’d just picked up again – he was almost done reading it – and met Ianto’s gaze, both men frowning just a bit.

“Hawk-man, who’s Gregor?” Jack asked calmly. 

“He belongs to Walter!” 

Now Jack really did frown. “What?”

“Did Walter introduce you to Gregor?” Ianto asked.

“Yeah!” Hawk slid from his chair and leaned on Ianto’s leg. “He made me my ghostie clothes!”

“Did he now?” Ianto smiled. “Where did he do this?”

“At Walty’s studio… there’s a whole room full of them!”

“Full of what?” Jack was confused. “Ghostie costumes?”

Hawk looked at Jack like the man had just lost his last marble. “No, Daddy, that would be silly.” The little boy looked at Ianto and shook his head sadly. “I mean, really!” 

Ianto had to stifle a fierce giggle that was tickling the back of his throat. “And Gregor made you this outfit, did he? It’s very nice…” He saw his son’s face droop a bit. “But it’s really so very, very scary!” He leaned in and whispered loudly into Hawk’s ear, “Your Daddy was really frightened!” 

Hawk perked right up again. “He was?” His whisper was just as loud.

“He was,” Ianto nodded his head vigorously. “Weren’t you, Daddy.”

Jack held out his arms and Hawk happily climbed onto his lap. “I sure was. I heard these spooky ‘woooing’ noises but I couldn’t find out where they were coming from.” He cuddled his little boy to him. “I looked and looked, didn’t I, Taddy… I looked really hard.”

“You did?” Hawk was quite interested in this. “Where did you look?” 

“Well, let’s see…” Jack scratched his chin. “I looked under this table and the one in the dining room…”

“Did you pull out the chairs?”

“Every one of them.”

“Wow!”

“Don’t tell Taddy, but I even pulled a couple of them out twice.” Now it was Jack’s turn to whisper loudly. “He’ll think I was being silly.”

“Yeah,” and Hawk looked over at Ianto with a vaguely disapproving look. “Where else did you look?”

“I went into the lounge to see if the TV or the radio were on, but they weren’t,” Jack held up his hand and began to tick off his fingers. “I went upstirs to see if there was something scary in the closets, but there wasn’t.”

“Did you look under the beds,” Ianto asked.

“I did,” Jack nodded solemnly. “Nothing there but a couple of dust bunnies.”

“There certainly were not!” Ianto proclaimed indignantly, watching Jack and Hawk start giggling at him. “Stop that, you two!”

“Yes, Taddy,” Hawk and Jack did their spooky talking in unison thing again.

“Ooooo…!” Ianto shook a fist at them in mock-anger, quickly looking down so Hawk wouldn’t see the laughter in his eyes.

“Where else did you look for the ghostie, Daddy,” Hawk prompted. He was just tickled pink that his costume had scared his daddy, who was one of the bravest men Hawk knew.

“Well, I was gonna go look outside, but then I didn’t cos I thought, what if it’s really out there but Taddy is in here and can’t save me, so I came back in here where I knew Taddy would keep me safe.”

“I suggested he check in the refrigerator, because you just never know about ghosties.” Ianto nodded. “They’re very clever little creatures, you know, always popping up where you least expect them.” 

“Yeah, we do.” Hawk blinked sleepily and nestled into Jack’s arms, a huge yarn nearly splitting his head in two. “Know what, Daddy?”

“What, Hawk-man?” Jack stroked his little back and smiled over his head at Ianto, who had pulled out his mobile and was taking pictures of his two favourite men.

“I wanna be a ghostie for Halloween, okay?”

“Okay, buddy.”

“Okay, Daddy.” He was asleep within moments.

“Looks like being a scary ghostie can be very tiring.” Ianto picked up the ghostie costume and was looking at it again. “You know, this is really very well constructed.”

“I texted Walter while Hawk was having his snack,” Jack said softly. “Gregorovitch Balakin –goes by Gregor now – is his new costume designer on his latest film. Says he’s Russian, actually designed the costumes for the Bolshoi Ballet before coming to the UK.”

“Wow…!” Ianto was suitably impressed.

“Says he poached Gregor from some French film company or another who were shooting up in Glasgow.”

“I think I’ll get in touch with him and see if he’d be interested in doing the Halloween costumes for all the kids this year.”

“That’s a good idea, Yan.” Jack smiled and kissed Hawk’s head, knowing full well that Ianto was such a control nut that the most he’d allow Gregor to do would be to make a few suggestions. “You always know best.”

The End


End file.
